


Burn

by rosesyndrome



Series: The Reynolds Pamphlet [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Cheating, F/M, The Reynolds Pamphlet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 12:06:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9490307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesyndrome/pseuds/rosesyndrome
Summary: Eliza is completely heartbroken after reading the Reynolds Pamphlet.





	

“The charge against me is a connection with one James Reynolds for purposes of improper pecuniary speculation. My real crime is an amorous connection with his wife, for a considerable time with his privity and connivance” More hot tears poured down Eliza’s cheeks as she read those heartbreaking words for what felt like the billionth dreadful time. She’d given him everything and it wasn’t enough? Why wasn’t it enough? What would be enough?

For the first time she can recall Eliza felt anger burning inside her so hot it was white. If you had told anybody that Elizabeth Hamilton would ever feel such an emotion they would have laughed in your face. They would've called you a fool. But here she was tears falling down the gentle curves of her face because all that she could feel was that boiling anger and unimaginable sadness. 

How could he? They had a family. They had five children the eldest only being 14 years old. She was pregnant with their sixth child while she had to read about her husband's affair. Eliza thought about how the kids were going to hear about this everywhere. How they were going to have to learn that as much as mommy loves daddy she’ll never be enough. How Phillip who idolizes his father and loves him more than anything, will have to realize that he is a scoundrel. She could almost see the pain that would be on her children’s faces now. Tears would be streaming. There would be murmurs of disbelief and questions she couldn't answer. By clearing his name of a small rumor that very few people believed, or even knew about, he had ruined his whole family's lives.

Eliza pulled a book down off the shelf. It was a large, rectangular, brown book. A very old book that was different from the rest on the shelf, because it was long rather than tall. It was a scrapbook on its front were only the words letters of love. Love. She traced over the letters with her fingers as soft as she could while shaking and sobbing. She traced over the once gorgeous now confusing words again and again while she thought. What is love? Is this it?

L. Lying  
He had lied to her for two years about this affair. He’d lied to her before, many times. He had said that he would stay with her through the end of her first pregnancy. Even then he left to go back and fight for the country. He’d lied when he promised she would never feel helpless. Here she was as helpless as she’d ever been. Would she feel helpless if she had married a rich man like her sisters, or was she destined to never be enough, to always be helpless.

O. Oblivious  
She had been oblivious to his infidelity. She begged him to take breaks and he declined. He claimed he had work. That was what she assumed he was doing. She was wrong and now she's paying the price for it.

V. Vicious  
Eliza was not the one who should be feeling vicious, yet she did. The fact that she couldn't control her anger made her feel mean. Years of society telling her that a woman should never have outbursts was getting to her, and her overly-kind and caring nature didn’t help.

E. Extra  
Back before they had gotten married there had been something extra to his letters. Like he was still trying to win her. That changed after they were married. It was like he already had her so he didn’t need to try as hard. The letters while they showed his passion for writing and his eloquence, they lacked some of the passion they used to hold for her. She’d thought about this before. The difference then was that she reasoned he was just busy. Now she was convinced he’d grown tired of her.

Eliza was so absorbed in her thoughts she didn’t even notice the frantic footsteps coming from behind her. “Eliza,” a voice that she used to love hearing, gasped “Eliza, I know I don’t deserve you, just hear me out.” Eliza didn’t look back. She knew that if she saw his face streaked with tears, pleading for her to forgive him, she would. 

Eliza spoke as strong and confident as she could and sat up straight. “I’m going to stay with Angelica” She stated remembering her sister's arrival to the city earlier that day, “I’m taking the youngest children and any of the older one’s who should want to come. Don’t you see that you have ruined our lives, that you’ve ruined their lives?” 

Maybe he didn’t care enough or maybe he didn't know what to do, but he didn't stop her from throwing their book of so many memories. He didn't follow her when she walked off, leaving him alone with just her last words to him ringing in his head. “I hope that you burn.”


End file.
